Heart TV!!

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<Okay, so this is just an idea I had. I thought that we should have a TV station, at least. OK, so in this topic, my original idea is that OOC will go in these: <>, response from characters that are not in shows will be in these: [], and the TV programs themselves will be in nothing. We will set up some shows that the characters will star in. If someone in the TITAL topic watches TV, their actions will be posted here until they stop. Sound like a good idea?>

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<If it's a bad idea, just say so.>

[Admin (HalcyonWandering)]

sounds like a decent idea but I don't really have anything that I can think of for a show at the moment...

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<How 'bout we start off with a game show?>

[NebulaGregarZX]

<Like... make one up, or watch one and regurgitate what happened from our memory?>

Sora: Next on channel H34R7, the Heart Channel, we have a short comedy act by our FF division for you!

-Final Fantasy III, Ur-

Luneth: Let's go fishing, Arc! I'm sure we'll actually catch something today and not have to beg Ingus or Sara or Refia for food!
Arc: You go ahead. I'm too busy studying for the exams.
Luneth: ...But there aren't any schools around here. This town is full of illiterate people. People can't spell their own names.
Arc: Yeah, but I envision a future where we are the smartest people on the Floating Continent!
Luneth: ...You know that that's barely an achievement, right? It's a FRAGMENT of th world. Spell "Smart" for me.
Arc: I'm S-M-R-T Smart!
Luneth: ...Riiiiiiiight. You work on your pointless endeavor, and I'LL get food.
Arc: You DO know that there are no fish in the lake, and that boulder blocks access to any other source of water, right?
Luneth: Aw, what do you know?
Arc: (That we'll be begging our friends for food until they take care of that boulder...)

<How's that?>

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<1. I meant make one up.
2. If you can make that into a series, ya know, with a title and everything, you're good.>

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<I like the H34R7 idea too. 1 5P34K 1337 700! XD>

[NebulaGregarZX]

<'Good' as in, 'all set to participate', or 'good at this'? Well, it was kinda hard to do that one, but I'll try to extend it into a series. Also, half the fun is in knowing these guys fromm FFIII DS, so it's not as funny if you haven't played it. Still enjoyable, but not as incredibly much.>

Descriptions:
Luneth: A bold, adventurous guy. Silver-haired, has a ponytail. Approximately 19 years old.
Arc: A shy, book-reading kid. Brown haired. Same age as Luneth.
Refia: Toughened by her training as a Blacksmith, she doesn't take an insult lying down. Red hair. Same age as above.
Ingus: The stern High Knight of Saronia. He likes Princess Sara. Blond, has permanent helmet-hair. Same age as above...
Sara: Princess of Saronia. Blond haired, and in traditional Square-Enix fashion, wears revealing clothes. Hey, I don't make these guys up. Square Enix does.
Cid: An engineer. He's stuck in Kazus, thanks to the Nelve Valley being blocked by a boulder.
Note: Personalities are dramatically altered in this show, since they barely HAVE personalities in FFIII.


Sora: Don't touch your remote! Riku will kill you if you miss this next program!
[Aleri: *Gulp* ...I better stay and watch, or I'll be killed by a KHVerse Character!]
Sora: Welcome back to... Failure Fantasy III! Watch Episode II now!
Riku: *Brandishes SoulEater*...Or else.

--Episode II--
-Saronia Castle-

Ingus: ...And that is why we need better lunches here.
King: I'm afraid we cannot afford to hire new cooks for you poor, underpaid knights.
Ingus: But... I am the high knight! I need more than badly made instant oatmeal to carry me through my duty of fighting monsters!
King: Forgive me, but we cannot help you there. Go on, you have your job. Also, you now have the duties of the royal janitor.
Ingus: ...*Walks out of the throne room, slouching*
Sara: What did Dad refuse this time?
Ingus: Decent breakfasts. On top of that, he won't give us lunch. Did you see how he rewarded that last quester who saved us? He gave him a canoe! What good is that?! It didn't even magically fold to reasonable size... and there's only one lake around here, and fish don't live there, since the other side has a cursed cave!
Sara: Well, I'll try to convince him otherwise. You go get some new equipment from Kazus. I'll lend you some money to buy their new Mythril Swords.
Ingus: Thanks you, milady. *Exits*
[Obtained 500 Gil!]
Sara: ...Come to think of it, that ring Dad always has is pretty. I think I'll borrow it.
-Several minutes pass...-
Sara: That was easy. All I had to do was pretend that I was going to use it to seal a magical evil in Sealed Cave.*Exits*

-Kazus-

Ingus: What was that unearthly rumbling? *Walks into weapons shop* Hello, sir, may I purchase...
Ghost: Yes?
Ingus: What?! A ghost?!
Ghost: I'm the shopkeeper. Everyone in town has been turned into ghosts. See, the Djinn was released in that earthquake, and only a Mythril Ring can banish him. So, he cast a spell on our town, since we're the only ones who can get Mythril.
Ingus: ...Lady Sara! Is she alright?! *Runs out*

-Saronia Castle Gate-

Ingus: Sentry! Where is Lady Sara!?
Ghost: Well... she left a while ago with the King's Mythril Ring.
Ingus: ...While I was out, the Djinn turned everyone to Ghosts... Only a Mythril Ring can seal it away... but where will I find a Mythril Ring...?


Sora: Now for a commercial break before our next show: Episode III of Failure Fantasy III!

...
...
...
[Aleri: It's all blackness...]
[Rexial: This is awesome!]
[Aleri: What?]
[Rexial: It's a commercial aiming for an audience of Dark beings. Of course you idiots who dwell in Light can't see it!]
...
...
...

Sora: Now for the exciting third episode of Failure Fantasy III! Watch our marathon!

--Failure Fantasy III: Episode III--
-Kazus, before the Curse hits: Smithy-

Refia: Why do I have to do this work?
Blacksmith: Because, you are training to be a Blacksmith, just like me!
Refia: Why do I have to learn to make such dumb things?
BSmith: Because... Travellers need equipment! Next, you are to lear to make Mythril Rings.
Refia: No, I'm leaving!*Runs out of Kazus, into Desert nearby* ...There it is! *Boards a half-submerged Airship* I'll just crash here until Daddy decides to stop making me do such crazy hard things...

-Outside Ur-

Luneth: Grr... that Arc! I'm gonna go explore Altar Cave, like he told me not to the other day!
*Upon entering, he falls into a hole.*
Luneth: ****IT! *Sees a group of Goblins* ...Double ****it!

=Battle!=
Luneth vs. Goblinx3
Luneth attacked with his knife! 10 damage! GoblinA is slain!
GoblinB attacked for 1 damage!
GoblinC attacked for 1 damage!
Luneth got irritated by the slow pace. and killed the enemies!
=Victory!=

Luneth: Holy crap, those were monsters! *Runs further ahead* Hey, a funny rock! I think I'll push on it! *Pushes, revealing a passage* Sweet! *Runs through the dungeon, grabbing a Longsword, two Antarctic Winds, a Leather Shield, and three Potions.* Hey, look! Funny-colored water! I think I'll drink it!*Drinks. It's poison. He dies. ...Just kidding. It restores his HP and MP to full* Yay! Magic happy water!*Runs to a wooden door* Huh? this place has a door? That makes no sense. *Walks through, and is attacked by Land Turtle* Bwaaaagh! What is that thing!?

=Battle... Summary!=
Luneth attacked until it died. He used a potion to heal himself in the middle of the fight, but otherwise didn't really do anything.
=Victory!=

Luneth: ...Hey, a giant crystal!
Crystal: Blah Blah Light and Darkness... Blah... Equilibrium... Etc. Go now.
Luneth: Wait! I don't get it! *Teleported outside by Crystal* ... ............. ...Light? Darkness? What was... What was that about?*Walks into Ur* Hey, random NPC Old Man! Whazzup?
Old Man: The Elder wishes to see you.
Luneth: Whatever.
...
Luneth: Yeah, Elder Topapa?
Topapa: Well, you're a Light Warrior now. Go find the other three.
Luneth: Okay! I bet Arc is one of them. After all, he's so annoying, he couldn't possibly be an NPC. *Walks to a flowery spot* Oh, hey, Arc!
Kid1: 'Ghosts don't exist'?!
Kid2: Go to Kazus and prove it, then!
Kid3: Ha! He's jus ta big chicken!
Arc: *Looks down*
Luneth: I SAID, Hey!
Kid1,2,&3: It's Luneth! Run!*They run away*
Luneth: *Approaches Arc* ...?
Arc: ... *Runs away*
Luneth: Hey! Where are you going!

-Village entrance-

Arc: I know I'm just a coward... but I can't ask for Luneth's help! I'll go by myself!*Runs to Kazus*

*Luneth goes to Kazus... blah blah blah.*

Luneth: Arc, what are you doing?
Arc: ...PLEASE come with me. I'm afraid of ghosts... but I DID get permission to use the Airship in the desert from a ghost called Cid.
[Arc joined the Party!]
Luneth: Okay! Let's go!
Arc: Wait, we have to use it to lift the curse that turned everyone into ghosts. I read that a Mythril Ring, which can be made around here, can lift the curse, but they can't make them as ghosts.

-Airship-

Arc: Hey, who's napping directly in front of the steering wheel?
Refia: *Gets up and stretches* Ahhh... AAAAGH! Who are you!?
Luneth: I could ask the same question!
Refia: I'm Refia, apprentice to the Kazus Blacksmith.
Luneth: I'm Luneth, that's Arc. Say... can you make a Mythril Ring?
Refia: Nope. I inconveniently ran away just before learning how.
Arc: That's no good...
Refia: Well, the King of Saronia has one.
Luneth: Well then, to Saronia Castle!
[Refia joined the Party!]

-Saronia Caslte Gate-

Ingus: ...While I was out, the Djinn turned everyone to Ghosts... Only a Mythril Ring can seal it away... but where will I find a Mythril Ring...?
Refia: The king has one.
Ingus: Well, then, let us ask him! Of course, he's a stuck-up ******* who wouldn't let me have a decent breakfast...

-Throne Room-

Ingus: Sire, these youngsters want your ring so that they can lift the curse.
Luneth: (Youngsters!? We're the same age, ****ing moron!)
King: Sorry, I let my daughter borrow it. She's at Sealed Cave.
Ingus: If Sara has the ring, the Djinn may have taken her! Sire, please allow me to go with them to find Lady Sara!
King: Sure. Just give me any loot you find.
Luneth: Screw you, King of idiots!
[Ingus joined the Party!]

[AKeybladeYouSay]

Norio: Coming up next on station H34R7, Heart TV, Spin the Wheel! Don't miss it! *straightens papers in front of him* *giant beach ball hits head* *cheesy smile*

---H34R7---

Irono: Hi there! And welcome to-
Audience: Spin! The! Wheel!
Irono: Now, since this is the first show, let's explain the rules. *gestures to wheel* When the contestants spin this wheel, it lands on any of the following: prizes, spin again, physical challenges, and mental challenges. These indicate what they have to do to go to the next round. Prizes trigger an automatic spin again. Now, for our first contestant: Josephine!
Josephine: *runs onstage*
Irono: Josephine, it's great to have you on our show.
Josephine: Great to be here, Irono.
Irono: Let's play!
Josephine: *spins wheel* *it lands on spin again* *spins* *[spin again]* *spins* *[spin again]* *spins* *[spin again]* *spins* *[spin again]*
Irono: Well, that's all the time we have! See you next week on-
Audience: Spin! The! Wheel!

---H34R7---

[Skazzasurf]

Nathan: Ello, this is H34R7, Heart TV, and now you will see Keyblade Funnies, a comedy talk-show, with your favorite keyblade wielders, Vanitas, Ventus, and Terra!

Terra: Get on with the *BLEEP!!!!* show.

Nathan: Alright alright!
~~~~~
Ventus: Hey Terra, I found my second keyblade. *Unzips pants and pulls down boxers, censored area*

Terra: OH GOD NO VENTUS!!!

*Laughter*

Vanitas: *Is in bed* Join me Ventus, and we can make the X-Blade!

Ventus: ... OK! *Goes into bed*

Vanitas: *Pulls covers over them*

Ventus: Where is this going?

Vanitas: *Shows him his glow in the dark wristwatch*

*Laughter*

Terra: Ventus, that keyhole needs to be sealed! *Points to Ventus's butt*

Ventus: I got you. *Seals keyhole of talkshow room*

Terra: No no... You're other keyhole.

Ventus: Ohhhh that keyhole! I want Aqua to seal it! She's better at sealing things...

Terra: *Soul floats out of him and he passes out*

*Laughter*

Nathan: More tomorrow, folks!

[Skazzasurf/Nate(Me): When I think of more sick jokes.. Those are the funny kinds.]

[AKeybladeYouSay]

[ : Drunken Alien King does not approve.]

[Skazzasurf]

[Vanitas: *Appears behind Drunken Alien King and puts keyblade to his neck* Give us good ratings or you are screwed.]

[AKeybladeYouSay]

[ : *goes online and takes survey about Keyblade Funnies* *gives show horrible ratings*]

Norio: Hey everyone! Ya like Heart TV? Just can't get enough? Well now, you can go to "www.hearttvisdabomb.com"
<No idea what'll actually happen if you visit that website.>
Norio: And you can watch missed episodes online, along with behind the scenes extras! We even have our own chat room with a built in video player so that you can watch videos while chatting about them! See you online!

[NebulaGregarZX]

[Aleri: What are the ratings for Failure Fantasy III...?*Calls Sora* ...Hey, what are the ratings for FFIII?]

Sora: Huh? What? The ratings? Ask someone else. Well, now that the random call from a fan is done, let's return to...?? Hey, what do you mean 'we don't have the next episode yet'?!
<^Happened on TV. Also, what ARE the current ratings for my parody?>

[Whats_Up4444]

*Pwn'd! in blue and yellow letters"
Zane: *Sitting on a bar stool with the mic in the camera* Yo what's up?! This is Pwn'd! The show where I kick your ass! Today we're going to Pwn Rexin! *Picture of Rexin takin' a dump* little sister Trexksyl will be the little sister. *Picture of Trexksyl picking her nose* and I'm going to be the Pwnzor! *Picture of Zane being badass* Now let's kick his ass!

*Next scene*

Rexin: Then I said, "That's no Nobody, THAT'S RIKU!"
Trexksyl: XD
Zane: *Puts bag over Rexin's head and kicks him in the crotch and kicks him the floor. Removes bag*
Rexin: WHAT THE [Bleep]?!
Zane: YOU JUST GOT PWN'D!
Rexin: No way! I love that show!

*Next scene*

Rexin: I'm Rexin of The Division, and I got Pwn'd! 8D

[Me: Obviously a parody of Punk'd. What do you think of Pwn'd? Yay or nay?]

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<Here's what I think.>
Sally: *comes into frame and stabs Zane in forehead with chakram* *****!!

[Whats_Up4444]

Cameraman/Darren: :O

<But seriously. I want to hear(read? >_>) your opinion..>

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<Seriously, it sucks. Punk'd actually has some essence to its jokes. This is just blinding them and kicking them in a vulnerable area. No essence. I reject this show as the president of the Heart TV station.>

[Skazzasurf]

<I disapprove, and I'm Keyblade's right hand man. (Right? Right? )>

[Whats_Up4444]

<Exactly! He just kicked and that's it! That's the joke in itself! But whatever. Guess I'll think of a different show. Unless if course people want more episodes.>

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<Skazza, since when are you my right hand man? If anyone, Bob is. XD But seriously, Whats_Up, it sucks. Get the very existence of the idea out of my presence.>

[Skazzasurf]

~Special edition of Pwn'd~
Nathan: *Finishes killing all the crew, which ends the show*

[AKeybladeYouSay]

<Good, Skazza. You can be my left-hand man for now.>

[Skazzasurf]

<>

[AKeybladeYouSay]

< indeed. XD>

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