DeltaStuck

[Zeldaman2.0]

Loading Gapers...
Applying Haxx Algorithms...
Defying Logic...
Transcending Space...
Thwarting Time...
Achieving maximum enjoyment...




Ending the World as we know it...





Today, on the Sixteenth of October, six friends will embark on a quest the likes of which they could have never imagined. Each of them will conquer two quests: the quest designed of them, and the quest designed for them. These six young, remarkable people... What were there names? And... I seem to be forgetting... where were they on this fateful day?

Ah, I remember one boy. KAIN GALDOR. This young man lived out in the Midwest in the USA. In his home, he lived alone except for his Uncle, and his friends online, the other heroes of this story. Kain enjoyed many things, chiefly among them GAMING, WRITING CRAZY STORIES, and LISTENING TO SICK BEATS. He was currently loafing around in his room, having just gotten home from school to play a highly-touted game, the SBURB DELTA. His copy was due to arrive any moment. He took a moment to berate himself for buying just the physical copy of the game and not getting a digital download. What the fuck even, man?

But... what about the others? What were they doing?

[Kittium]

Be the one with hideous scarf. =======>

Your name is ISIS. You are currently hiding in the safe haven that is your room while you pray that your aunt doesn't set the house on fire. Again.

You have a myriad of INTERESTS and hobbies. You've tried several in an attempt to distract you from the noisy VOICES IN YOUR HEAD but the only ones that have actually stuck seemed to be reading, mostly about either MYTHICAL CREATURES or ANCIENT CULTURES, dissection, solving puzzles, and chasing the neighborhood cats around. You just want them to love you. Is that so freaking hard? You also have quite the penchant for UNBELIEVABLY UGLY SCARVES. Seriously. What is that monstrosity around your neck? Why it's your favorite scarf. It used to be your second favorite but your first favorite lost it's place after a mildly traumatic experience in which it literally tried to strangle you. You haven't worn it since and have instead allocated the heinous thing to your strife specibus.

Ah. Now what were you doing? Right! Sburb Delta. Your copy should be in the mail today. You've been itching to get this game going with your group of whacky companions. Speaking of which...

Isis: Pester your gamer buddy. ======>

-- malleableAtrocities [MA] began pestering apatheticAvarice [AA] --

MA: AA, are you here or away~?
MA: Added alliteration and ridiculous rhyming aside, have you gotten your hands on that game copy in a haste?
MA: I still have to wait until Auntie is done developing the latest disaster and it's safe to scurry out.
MA: Or wildly hop out of the window.
MA: Either way it'd be nice to know how far behind I am, if at all.

[Admin (HalcyonWandering)]

Be the boy in the dark clothes ==>

Your name is FINN O'LEARY. You're hiding in your room to avoid your STRANGE FATHER that shares none of your various INTERESTS. That is outside of getting into totally awesome PATERNAL SWORD FIGHTS.


You decide to examine the DISORGANIZED mess that you call a domicile. You would clean it but you are simply to bothered by your various other hobbies to have the TIME. Your GUITAR sits in its stand, ready and waiting for you to play some SICK RIFFS in an acoustic manner. You consider yourself an ACE with the instrument and have even created a few acoustic covers of popular songs. Various SOCCER BALLS are strewn about the floor. Most of them are flat and even the newest one has a long tear in it from overuse. On a shelf that stretches across the entire length of one side of your room, sit a multitude of CDs from so many band and artists that you couldn't even bother organizing them. Some of your friends describe your tastes as ECCLECTIC but it's more honestly TOTALLY INDISCRIMINATE. Your PEN sits on your desk waiting to be used in attempt to create literature. Despite multiple attempts, you are HORRIFICALLY BAD at creating stories.


You sit down at your computer and begin to pester some of your INTERNET FRIENDS to see if they've made any progress with Sburb. Your copy has arrived but you haven't worked up the nerve to go talk to your father to get it from his mail. You make sure to allocate your TRUSTY WRITING UTENSIL to your HIDDENSWORDKIND strife specibus before your INCREDIBLY CONFUSING captchalogue modus can wrap its gnarly claws around it.


--- fraudlentRedeemer [FR] began pestering malleableAtrocities [MA] at 16:16 ---

FR: Yo
FR: Isis
FR: Are You There?
FR: Or Are You Out Chasing Your Fucking Cats Again?
FR: Have You Gotten Sburb Yet?

[Cremator of the Sky]

Be the uninteresting girl in shades ===>
 
You are now…
 
ZERO ZEPLIE.
 
Yes, your name is Zero, and yes you’re a woman. You have spent all of your life under the care of MASTER, a man whose only be seen as a trench coat with a fedora, sunglasses, and a seriously rockin’ moustache. You never really know where MASTER is unless he feels like showing himself. But you don’t mind that, it’s how your whole life has been, just you and MASTER. You both have lived in MASTER’S CREEPY ASS THREE-STORY MANSION ON A HILL somewhere in the northern region of the United States. While it is a very creepy place to live, what with so much space for only two people and only one of those two isn’t some kind of shadowy blur you’ve honestly become accustomed to it.
 
At the moment, you’re in your room simply sitting in your black office chair, your focus on the computer screen displaying your desktop with FIST OF THE NORTH STAR WALLPAPER on it. You’re not on the internet as indicated by the lack of an open browser, and you’re not doing anything else considering nothing is shown to be running. Well except for Pesterchum, but anyone who’s anyone always has that running no matter what. Speaking of Pesterchum, you only have five friends, and you happened to have gained them all quite recently. No seriously, you had no friends up until now.
 
It’s quite the weird story, you somehow got signed up for this game called SBURB DELTA and you not only won, but also had your Chumhandle given out to five total strangers as their handles were given to you. Something about teamwork or something weird like that. Some of them have actually pestered you, but you’ve never pestered them because you aren’t the type to start a conversation, maybe it’s your handle that’s scaring everyone away from you? You suppose that could be it. On the other hand, that just sounds really dumb so you’re honestly back at square one.
 
You let out a sigh as you adjust the sunglasses upon your face as you wonder what to do. The rest of your attire is rather plain, a white tank top, a pair of black yoga pants, black sneakers with white soles, and finally a completely oversized black long coat that just looked absolutely silly. You’ve felt INCREDIBLY INDEBTED to your MASTER so you’ve decided to emulate his clothing style as a form of gratitude. You really do appreciate him for taking you in and raising you… even though you’ve had to fend for yourself for the last eight years of your life. Regardless of that, you do want to repay him for what he’s done for you, but it is best not to keep dwelling on it. Perhaps you should focus on your five friends… Although…
 
You really can’t bring yourself to pester any of them. You’d probably wind up bothering someone at the most inconvenient time. So this would probably be the time to bring up your HOBBIES or INTERESTS, but you believe yours are just as, if not somehow, more BORING than yourself. You’ve always believed yourself to be UNINTERESTING, it’s just something that came about one day. Probably a side-effect from living in borderline isolation. That’s just how things are for you, and you really can’t do anything about them.
 
So now the question is, do you keep sitting in your chair doing nothing or do you want to actually do something like fire BAOH up on youtube for probably the 80^th time?

[Malakili007]

Be the rainbow haired girl ==>

Your name is Lucia Vardar. You were recently transferred to JAPAN as part of a STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAM. Currently you live with your ODD SISTER. Having arrived home safely after a day of school where you are required to wear your JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRL UNIFORM, you find yourself sitting  on your bed surrounded by objects  pertaining to your INTERESTS and HOBBIES. On the Bookshelf lies your ANIME/CARTOON collection tediously organized alphabetically to appease your OCD ehem...you mean CDO.  Why couldn't that make that acronym alphabetical....it's always drived you nuts...anyways your various other interest include your collection of COLORFUL MINIATURE HORSE PLUSHIES which lie in PILE in the corner (you make a mental note to organize that later) out of the corner of your eye you can see your HAIR DYES in the BATHROOM which you use to dye your hair the colors of the rainbow sometimes in alphabetical order as they are now (....BLUE, GREEN, INDIGO, ORANGE, RED, VIOLET, AND YELLOW ) and sometimes the traditional ROY G BIV ORDER which your OCD....EHEM ....CDO.... has always made you suffer with which to use....CURSED RAINBOWS the VEX of your OC---ER CONDITION....lying on the shelf next to your desk is  your VARIOUS FORTUNE TELLING MEMORABILIA which includes your TAROT DECK  which you are currently shuffling in another woeful attempt at FORTUNE TELLING (which you are abysmal at).  After shuffling a sufficient amount of times you lay out three CARDS in front of you.

[Aesoth]

Be the boy in the white clothes ==>

Your name is ZANE FERRAS. You are in your room after winning a hard-fought game of ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS with your uncle. You started installing Sburb before the battle of many hours but the antiquated disk reader attached to your PC has slowed the process dramatically.

With the dinosaur-like technology grinding away next to you, you glance around the shady gloom that is your domicile. A plethora of BOOKSHELVES dominate the walls, containing many LITERARY ARTIFACTS in both fiction and non-fiction flavors. Various DRAWING IMPLEMENTS and SKETCH PADS litter the floor, forcing a hopping pattern to navigate the colored stabby mess. Various POSTERS depict masters of the sacred art of R/P/S.

Quickly losing interest in the familiar surroundings, you switch on PesterChum to see if anyone feels like bothering you. You notice one of them and decide to preemptively bother them like the random tactical genius many claim you to be.

--- zestyForesight [ZF] began pestering fraudlentRedeemer [FR] at 16:20 ---

ZF: salutationS.
ZF: havE yoU acquireD youR copieS oF sburB presentlY?
ZF: beforE yoU asK a redundanT questioN, i havE acquireD mY owN.
ZF: alL thaT iS lefT tO bE donE iS waiT.

[whimsicalMuffinman]

Kitt was sitting slumped over at her computer desk, in her hands was the small wooden instrument known as a Kalimba. The tines of the instrument reverberated as she played, creating a pleasing tinny sort of chiming noise. At least she thought so. It probably would have sounded better if she was making some attempt to actually play music, but oh well. That would have taken more effort than it was worth in her eyes.

She sat the instrument down, now bored with it. She listened to the soft humming noise coming from the room down the hall, it must have been one of the machines in Rei's room. She assumed it was a machine, she didn't really know since she'd never been allowed on her room.

She searched the room for something to do, glancing at her computer. She wondered if that list of people who'd recieved her handle had given up on trying to contact her. She'd sort of held off on replying to them. She wasn't any good at talking to people anyway, though at least them trying to had provided some entertainment.

Perhaps she could solicit the conversation?

She didn't really try to stop herself from doing it, she scrolled through the list of handles on her screen, not looking for anything in particular, just whatever caught her fancy most. No... No... No..... malleableAtrocities sounded interesting. Or at least that's the one she was going to pick. To be completely honest she just closed her eyes and clicked open a chat with whichever one she clicked on.

Kitt needed to think this through carefully, she had no idea what to say. She wanted to seem polite... but approachable, and she needed to convey her absolute boredom. This was pretty much a plea for attention and entertainment, but she didn't want to be blunt about it. She wanted to keep it short and sweet but it needed to make a good first impression.

-- inadvertentArsonist [IA] began pestering malleableAtrocities [MA] --

IA: Hello...

Nailed it.

[Zeldaman2.0]

==>Be Kain Again.

Good God. So many people, so little time! Now, as was previously mentioned, you are Kain Galdor, and you along with your friends... or in some cases, internet acquaintances... are waiting to play the SBURB Delta game. The game has, after beta testing and fixing many problems, was finally released for official play just today. Your copy is coming in the mail, which your uncle should be bringing home soon... otherwise you'll have to dart down the street, hop in the post office, and grab it there. And while, from some friendly, familial strifes, your agility has been honed somewhat, you still hate running. And physical excercise in general. To be honest, you don't like putting yourself out there unless it's on the internet. And for the occasional sweets. Though if it's favorite food, STROGANOFF WITH HOT SAUCE and PEACH TEA are your way to go.

Receiving the ever-annoying bells and whistles of Pesterchum (you'd change the layout, but you can never FIND all the options properly on the others) grate on your nerves, but someone rather reasonable has pestered you.

-- malleableAtrocities [MA] began pestering apatheticAvarice [AA] --

MA: AA, are you here or away~?
MA: Added alliteration and ridiculous rhyming aside, have you gotten your hands on that game copy in a haste?
MA: I still have to wait until Auntie is done developing the latest disaster and it's safe to scurry out.
MA: Or wildly hop out of the window.
MA: Either way it'd be nice to know how far behind I am, if at all.
AA: MA, I am ¢urrently pre$ent. You have no need to worry, Uncle i$ $ure to be bringing me my own ¢opy $ometime soon.
AA: In any ¢ase, I $till need to in$tall it, and after all that preparation we need to ¢onfirm a $erver-¢lient order.
AA: This is a multiplayer experien¢e, after all.

Am I forgetting something? It feels like another batch of players were starting, on a world away from this one... Hm. Are they there?

[Kittium]

Once again, you are Isis Basette and- YIKES, you really should have been paying more attention to your screen. You look away for a moment and suddenly three chat windows loom upon your screen. Since you were the one to message AA, you figure you might as well answer him first.

MA: Oh, thank goodness. I’m not too terribly behind.
MA: I just thought it something important to keep in mind.
MA: If you find you need assistance crafting a coherent client-server chain then I’d be happy to help.

Server-client chain? You knew there was something you were supposed to be working on, but precisely what seemed to slip from your mind. You’d been meaning to talk to Finn about that. Speaking of Mister Grumpy, he seems to be pestering you as well. You should probably answer him.

MA: Aaactually, I was participating in something particularly productive for once.
MA: And not out chasing the relatives of dear departed Ponce.
MA: I’m going to go get my copy of the game soon, you see.
MA: But that requires getting past Auntie…
MA:  I was sure I heard a lot of sparky sounds from downstairs,
MA: So you can see why I’m a bit wary of wandering down there.

You really need to go do that now, don’t you? Auntie’s probably done with her disastrous masterpiece by now. If not, you’re just going to have to stop being a coward and face whatever nuclear-powered, flaming, contraption of chaos she’s erected…On second thought, a bit more stalling wouldn’t hurt. You still have one last pester to answer.

MA: Amiable address to you, IA.
MA: Just what might you be up to today?

While you wait for IA, you can always work on getting downstairs. Mentally preparing yourself, you take a bite of your favorite beef jerky and- Oh…that tastes kind of off…. You really need to stop keeping FORMALEHYDE near your SNACKS. The taste stopped perturbing you after the first fifteen incidents, but it doesn’t exactly make your breath smell pleasant. At least you have a nice mug of peppermint tea. You could sip at that all day…Alright, enough of this pitiful procrastination, Missy! You man up and march right out of that door!

Well, you cautiously peek out of the door way, which is close enough. The hallway is ostensibly empty, but you know better than to be lured into a state of complacency in this house. Picking up your knitting needles, you allocate them to your strife specibus before venturing out.

Getting your mail is getting ridiculous.

[Admin (HalcyonWandering)]

Finn groaned slightly. Isis, he had been expecting a reply from, he'd even been kind enough to message her first today. Zane, however, wasn't expected and the two never got along that well.

Since he'd rather get his more bothersome chum out of the way first, he responded to Zane first.

FR: Morning
FR: Starshine.
FR: Nice To Know That I Have About Three More Fucking Hours Before I Have To Get Off My Ass.
FR: No
FR: I Don't Have My Disc Yet... And I'm Really Not In The Mood To Get In A Fight Over The Postage Either
FR: But
FR: MA Is Bugging Me About It
FR: Too.
FR: I'll Go Get Them Once I Respond To Her
FR: I Guess.

fraudulentRedeemer [FR] has ceased being pestered by zestyForesight [ZF]

After dealing with that chum, Finn switched tabs to Isis'. This was a person that he could actually stand talking to, so he might leave the client open while he went downstairs to get his copy of the game. Might being the applicable word in this scenario.

FR:Well
FR: I Haven't Gotten My Copy From Dad Yet Either.
FR: So
FR: Why Don't We Both Go?
FR: It Can Be Like Some Sort Of Competition To See Who Can Get Their Copy From Their Crazy Ass Relative First.
FR: That Is If You're Fucking Up For It
FR: I'm Going To Go Get My Copy Right Now
FR: Anyways.

Jumping from his computer chair, Finn retrieved his TRUSTY WRITING UTENSIL from his strife specibus. As he opened the door to his room, he uncapped the instrument and it sprung forth into a full length shortsword. The weapon was not anywhere near the length or strength of his father's blade, but he felt it suited him none the less.

Taking a step into the hallway,Finn was greeted by an unseemly amount of traditional Japanese wall decorations. A large mask hung on the wall across from his room that always gave him the creeps. He gave the piece a cursory shudder of acknowledgement before continuing down the hallway.

As he made his way toward the end of the hall, Finn checked his mobile phone to make sure he was logged into Pesterchum in case Isis or one of his more irritating chums decided to message him. Slipping the device back into his pocket, he exited the hallway his room was in arriving in the KITCHEN.

Ok, now this room of the house was ridiculous. The entire western wall was a single pane of glass so that not only could the neighbors see very easily into their kitchen, but his father could also watch the sunset while sitting legs crossed at the low table sipping a cup of tea. Ugh. Not that Finn found tea particularly revolting, he just preferred it ICED. Like normal people. The dispute between warm and cold tea was a long running dispute between Finn and his father and Finn and Isis' preference for peppermint tea for that matter.

Looking out the window, Finn groaned again. On the front lawn, his father was dressed head to toe in his usual garb. His usual garb being traditional samurai armor. From the looks of it, he was practicing his usual afternoon routine. And that meant he'd be wanting a sparring partner soon.

Wonderful.

Making sure to keep his head low, Finn darted for the fridge and re-capped his sword shrinking it to its original pen-shaped form. He opened the door of the fridge hoping to find something decent to eat considering he'd skipped lunch entirely. Finding a box of wings, he makes a grab for the container.

Wait.

Fuck.

The entire container becomes captchalogued into his Faux Deus Ex Modus. Finn watches the colors spin for a moment before closing his eyes and focusing on the fridge again. Luckily enough, one of the wings managed to fall from the box. This one he picks up Without Fucking Captchaloguing and takes a bite of it. The incredibly spicy CHICKEN WING WITH ANGER SAUCE is hardly enough to effect him anymore after years of eating the things.

Well, this is going to be fun. Time to take a spin at the modus and hope to pull back out the box of wings. The last thing he needs is his dad having a fit over him losing more food into the modus that Finn refused to remove. The Faux Deus Ex Modus serves to annoy the ever-loving hell out of Finn. And sometimes, just sometimes, it gives him what he asks for.

Finn reaches out into the spinning, random cards of his modus and retrieves...

[Cremator of the Sky]

It seemed no one was going to Pester Zero for now, while most would be slightly saddened at that Zero felt nothing. To her, isolation was pretty much the story of her life since she was taken in by Master. Isolation, self-training, and many other words normal people would find to be generally unpleasant. That’s how things were for Zero, and she figured that’s how it would always be. Feeling slightly parched, Zero pulled out her PRIZED PICCOLO CIRCA 1990 and tried to draw a WINE GLASS from her Sylladex… but there wasn’t such a card there! This was most… disturbing.


Zero figured she must have left the glass she was using in the sink in the kitchen and forgot to replace it with a clean one in her Sylladex. Oh the shame and unprofessionalism! Zero had to correct this right here, right now. Zero got out of her chair and pushed it in against her desk before leaving her room. When she left, she was greeted by the empty interior of the MANSION, the stained glass windows providing illumination to the interior while the MASSIVE CHANDELIER that hung from the ceiling and the assorted lit candles upon the walls assisted. The MANSION was incredibly BIZZARRE as the second and third floors were completely compromised of adequately sized rooms and balcony hallways while the rest of both floors was nonexistent effectively leaving the rest of the MANSION empty space and creating a MASSIVE FOYER on the first floor.

And with that descriptive exposition handled, Zero walked towards the staircase to the left of her room’s door and began descending it. The entire second floor belonged to Zero while the third belonged to MASTER. She never questioned it, and frankly had no reason to in the first place. As she reached the first floor, she decided to give the FOYER a quick look around. All she saw was the usual random assortment of COUCHES AND CHAIRS along with some COFFEE TABLES upon the WOODEN FLOOR with a MASSIVE BLACK AND WHITE CIRCULAR RUG WITH SOME RUNES ON IT. Oh yeah, there’s also the GIANT ASS STATUE in the center of the assortment too.

The STATUE was of a VERY WELL SCULTPED MAN with WINGS reaching for the sky, his BEARD reaching to his chest that you could grind a prime rib on. Zero didn’t know what was weirder, the man’s HUGE WINGS, the fact he had THREE EYES, his MAGNIFICENT BEARD, or the inscription upon the massive base it stood upon. Upon the base simply read “MUNDUS”, whether that’s the name of the statue or the sculptor, Zero had no idea. All she knew was that she spent enough time FONDLY REGARDING MUNDUS and simply entered the KITCHEN to her left.

Upon entering the KITCHEN, Zero made haste to the glasses cabinet and opened it. The KITCHEN was surprisingly the most normal and bland room encountered so far having next to no furniture, plain tile floor, and just basic things you’d find in a kitchen. It only took her a matter of seconds to fish out the desired WINE GLASS and with it she pulled out her PRIZED PICCOLO CIRCA 1990 again, popped the top, and poured in some the great green liquid the small bottle contained. Zero was quick to elegantly drink the WINE GLASS of its contents, spending a minute savoring entirety of the glass’ liquid. Giving a content filled sigh, Zero put the WINE GLASS in her Sylladex for future use, put the top back on her PRIZED PICCOLO CIRCA 1990 and then put that away.

And then a thought occurred to her…


Maybe that game came in the mail today?

[Malakili007]

==> Be Lucia again.

You are once again Lucia. As you turn over the first card you reveal THE MOON. Hmm a rather foreboding card you think to yourself. The next card you flip reveals THE SUN reversed...okay that's odd...those two kind of cancel each other out. Shrugging you flip the next to find WHEEL OF FORTUNE and it's sideways? What the heck does that mean? Scratching your head for a moment you decide to allocate the MARSEILLE TAROT DECK you were fiddling around with to your strife specibus.

Looking around your room for a moment you see your LAPTOP open with Pesterchum running as usual, though it seems no one has pestered you as of yet. Relocating yourself in front of your laptop you notice that new contact that suddenly appeared in your chumlist. You decide that you should be the FRIENDLY one and initiate a conversation first with them even if their handle discomforts you...just a little. Before you begin typing you take a bite of your favorite TAKOYAKI that you had left by the laptop.

-- logicalFallacy [LF] began pestering professionalAssassin [PA] --

LF: He((o. I (ou(dn't he(p but noti(e that you sudden((y appeared in my (hum ((ist. Per(han(e you sha(( be joining myse(f and some (ohorts of mine in a tria( of SBURB?
LF: I (ertain(y am (ooking forward to p(aying with some friends and I re(ish the oppurtunity to make more.

As you wait to hear from this strange new contact of yours you notice that [AA] is on as well so you decide to pester him in the meantime.

--logicalFallacy [LF] began pestering apatheticAvarice [AA] --

LF: He((o, I (ertain(y am (ooking forward to p(aying this game with (ompany su(h as yourse(f. Speaking of whi(h of you retrieved your (opy yet? I sti(( have to go downstairs and get mine.
LF: If I (an just not get (aught by the o(d sister. I don't even know if it (ame in the mai( yet.
LF: I just (an't (ontain my ex(itement for this!!!!!!!

As you wait for a response you take a sip of your favorite VANILLA MILKSHAKE before you accidentally captchalogue it.

[Aesoth]

Zane scowled at the obnoxious response from his 'chum'. Why had he even messaged this miscreant, he never gets anything but petulant one-liners and shaded jabs at his character and possessions. Seeing mention of a mutual acquaintance of their's, he decides to pester her rather than replying to the previous one.

--- zestyForesight [ZF] began pestering malleableAtrocities [MA]  at 16:23 ---

ZF: greetingS, mY mosT malleablE of chumS. i hearD thaT yoU havE noT yeT acquireD youR deltA? thE falsE onE mentioneD it.
ZF: i wisH, jusT oncE, hE wouldn'T calL mE somethinG ridiculouS ofF thE toP oF hiS heaD.
ZF: propeR communicatioN asidE, dO yoU knoW therE iS nO soliD informatioN abouT thiS sburB gamE?
ZF: i havE yeT tO finD anY sourcE thaT doesn'T descenD intO idiocY oR stopS entirelY beforE iT getS anywherE!
ZF: it'S alL verY odD.

Sending off the communique to your associate, you grab your TECHBOOK from next to your computer. Useful for both messages from your known colleagues and for reading non-physical LITERARY ARTIFACTS, the lack of pages to turn has always disappointed you in a way. With mobile device in hand, you step into the light to track down some SUGARY PRODUCE, both to sate your peckish stomach, and to ward off medical practitioners. One a day and all that.

Starting down the ridiculously tall spiral staircase, you begin to wonder why such a thing was even included in the design of the house. I mean, the aesthetic is nice and all but an elevator probably would have helped the aesthetic while making it possible to actually get to your room in a timely manner. You just don’t understand what your uncle was thinking when he- Oh, you’re in the kitchen. You really need to stop monologuing so much.

Glancing around the room, you quickly spot a fresh pile of your favorite SUGARY PRODUCE, APPLES. Snatching two up, you allocate one of them to your strife specibus while taking a bite of the other. You remember how the fruitkind came to be. You sure learned your lesson about reading up before just putting any old thing into places, all willy and nilly.

[whimsicalMuffinman]

Kitt was a little bit startled by the ding of pesterchum as she'd sort of spaced out in her waiting.

IA: Ahh... yes...
IA: Err, that would be nothing, actually...
IA: That's the reason that I took such drastic measures as to contact a complete stranger from the list of chums which I was given for this game.
IA: Which, as it turns out, just might be in my mail today... Perhaps I should check.

Kitt paused for a long while, wondering exactly what it was that keeping her from going to go and get the mail. Perhaps she felt afraid of being assualted by Rei.

Assualted by INCREDIBLY SUGARY SISTERLY LOVE.

That would be tragic. She was planning on avoiding that at all costs. With much hesitation, she pushed herself up from her chair with much hesitation--

--As exciting as it would be to continue the thrilling tale of Kitt going to get the mail, it’s time to take a glimpse at another one—or rather, four other ones. Let’s begin with just one—a particularly angry one, might I add.

He was in a particularly foul mood at the moment, and was quite wishing that he could set someone on fire through a computer. That would have been a great thing to do in that moment, but he doubted that was going to happen. Unless he had crazy head exploding powers, now if he just concentrated enough…

The pinging of Trollian told him that for all of his efforts in trying to explode her head, he’d failed, so he reopened his eyes to reread what she’d sent.

scorbianTheatric [ST] began pestering volatileSlacker [VS]

ST: So I’m assuming you’ve heard about the nemest game, seeing as your handle was on the list I received.
ST: It’s amazing, you actually got ub and DID something for once to get into this bool. Nom I hobe it’s not too much to ask you to get off your lazy ass and go get the game. And don’t make your lusus go get it, I don’t mant her slobber to ruin your chance to blay and amazing game mith meeee.
ST: VS, you’re sbacing out again aren’t you?
ST: Fucking shit VS. Just fucking shit. Hom can one berson be as immeasurably lazy as you?
VS: Would you just shut the fuck up you shiiit head. Your quiiirk annoys the piiiss out of me.
VS: Replaciiing p’s and w’s iiis so iiimpractiiical Iii can’t even begiiin to explaiiin it to you.
VS: And yes, Iii got the game, no my lusus diiidn’t get iiit for me, and no Iii’m not spaciiing out.
VS: For your iiinformatiiion, that was a very long attempt at tryiiing to blow you up wiiith the power of my miiind.
VS: Obviiiously iiit wasn’t enough to shut you up even iiif iiit DIIID make your skull iiimplode.
ST: Bitch, your quirk isn’t any better you stuttering asshole.
ST: And i’m going to take it as a combliment that you masted that much time of your life thinking about my gorgeous face.

Oh my god. No.

Kieloe wasn’t about to take anymore of ST’s bullshit. She was so full of herself she could pail with a mirror.
Kieloe was the sort of person who didn’t really have a filter, he would say whatever he please to whomever he pleased no matter how blush-inducingly filthy it was, he couldn’t be bothered to give two shits about other trolls and what they thought of him—he could only speculate that the reason for it was either his own little way of rebellion against the hemospectrum or maybe it was just a death wish.

He sighed, picking up the game from his desk, looking it over for a moment and then picking up the paper underneath it to mull it over for a while longer. There were four handles listed under the “Trollian” header, and then several more under a title called “Pesterchum”. He furrowed his brow, he’d never heard of it. He’d searched for it to some extent—as much as he could be bothered to, but he found nothing. He glanced up at trollian and then back to the paper, they seemed to have the usernames formatted the same way. Curious. So very curious.

He glanced through the list, picking a random name from the list.

volatileSlacker [VS] began trolling inadvertentArsonist [IA]

VS: Iii don’t know who you are…
VS: But iiit seems you’ve met wiiith some terriiible miiisfortune to have your handle giiiven to me.
VS: Because you’ve pretty much been served up to the biiigest asshole on the entiiire planet on a siiilver platter.

Meanwhile, nnnnnnnnope. Kitt hadn’t left yet, in fact, she’d sat back down in her chair. When the messenger chimed, she figured it was from Isis, though that certainly wasn’t who it was when she turned to read it.

Instead was this mysterious new person, someone had been given her handle that wasn’t on the list? Jesus Christ, did that mean they just posted her information on the internet somewhere.

IA: I’m sorry, I don’t really know how you got ahold of that, but I can assure you that I have no idea who you are…
IA: So if you can, certainly fill me in on the missing details.
IA: Because I seem to be missing the point in this conversation…
VS: Iii wish Iii could giiive you an explanatiiion, though Iii don’t know any more than you.
VS: Iii guess that means that the uniiiverse has some sort of biiig plan for us iiin the scheme of thiiings.
VS: Not that Iii beliiieve in that shiiit.

Kitt was confused; perhaps she hadn’t got everything that she needed to know. She should ask one of the others, and since she was already pestering Isis, she seemed like a prime candidate. She switched over to Isis’ chat window.

IA: Not to change the topic so suddenly…
IA: Perhaps you know who the person is with the handle “volitileSlacker” is?
IA: I’ve never heard of him, and his name isn’t on this handle list… so I was hoping someone else may know.

[Zeldaman2.0]

Be Kain Again==>

AA: I think I can handle setting one up on my own, MA. Though perhaps we're better of picking.
AA: While it perturbs me and frustrates me already to consider /him/ as my server, I believe he's still competent enough to be my server.

AA: Then it's his choice, and so on, until I serve someone.
AA: Though it's imperative that we commence immediately.
AA: And if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to be your assistant, or server.
AA: You'd be last on but that'd give you ample time.


Your urgency rather unbecoming of you, you stop back and wonder for a moment, before grabbing your Hollow Club, which is pretty much a sturdy yet plastic mace, and allocating it to your Strife Specibus. The club has served you well in your strifes against Uncle, and provides swift, sharp blows without really hurting, merely stinging. You begin to leave when Pesterchum annoyingly pops up again. Sighing, you turn around and oh my good fuck why. These colors. You know it's her thing and she can't help it but they BURN.

AA: Good to hear from you, LF.
AA: While I do reciprocate the enthusiasm from one such as yourself, I regret to inform you that the next few minutes will be saturated with busy and bother for me.
AA: I would highly recommend figuring out who your "partners" will be.
AA: That is, who you will assist, and who will assist you.
AA: I fear I need His Indubitable Obtuseness to assist me.
AA: Also known as FR.

Waiting a few moments, you decide to see if there are any replies. With none forthcoming, you head downstairs. Upon reaching the landing, you glance down the hallway, and stepping off of it, into the living room. You decide to go down the short hallway and into the garage. There he is. Uncle. He's sanding away at a bench, likely intended for one of his picnics, with the copies of Sburb right there next to him. He notices you come in, and grins, his trademark chuckle escaping his lips. Discarding the sandpaper, he retrieves a Wooden Pole from his own strife specibus.

You retrieve your own club, and try to circle him. Uncle isn't having any of it though, and stays in place, still poised at you. You sigh, and let your gaze drop slightly. Your Uncle acts on this, but your feint works, and you deflect his blow to the side. Putting on a dash of speed, you use your flash step ability to grab the discs, saving them as one object in your hierarchial modus, and jump to the other side of the garage. Both you and Uncle are an equal distance from the door. Shit.

Uncle makes a move, but so do you. You aim a blow, circling down, at his knee, though he quickly blocks in and automatically parries with a love tap to your side. You're knocked back, and stumble into the deep freezer next to you. You get up, and try to circle him again. He's still not having it, and you're pressed back as he slowly advances. You hate when he does this. You don't like hurting people, even if they hurt you, or if it's temporary. You're a lover, not a fighter. And you really wish that Uncle wouldn't push you like this. But if you are to get your way, you had to press him. You start swinging wildly and with force, trying to get him to back up. Uncle's grin widens more, and retreats. You're almost to the door... when he knocks the club out of your hand and into the hallway. You stop, panting, and Uncle seems barely winded. He chuckles again, ruffling your hair (and skewing your glasses, darn it) and then pulls you in for a hug. You hate to admit it but the hugs are always... nice. Even though you don't get why he does it. He stores his staff and goes back to work, mentioning that dinner is ready, eat it whenever.

You go back into the hallway, allocate your club again, and then head to the kitchen. You make your dinner quickly and allocate them to the next level of you hierarchial modus, making accessing all three (the discs, the glass and pitcher of tea, and your spiced stroganoff) a cinch. Though grabbing the discs first would be unwise. You head back upstairs, a tad tired, though feeling... quite better, despite your bruised side and your exhaustion.

LEVEL UP.
Speed +3
Strength +1
Endurance +1
Zeal +4
Man grit <HP for men> +6
Level attained: 1/16
Title: Man of Words
Boondollars: +120 Boondollars

You head upstairs, retrieve your meal, and eat before you start the game process.

@Halcyon: You retrieve a... pillow. Sonofabitch.

<Familial strifes this round, Whimsy, you can do the troll strifes whenever.>

[Kittium]

===> Be Isis again.

You are once again Isis Basette and you are particularly paranoid as you creep down the hallway, heading toward the stairs.

===> Isis: Ready the weaponry.

You clutch your needles firmly, ready to attack. Well, it’s more like ready to defend. Auntie will be the one attacking, no doubt. You keep a wary watch of your surroundings, but everything seems quiet at the moment. You finally, with all your creeping and procrastinating, start heading down the stairs. That’s when you see her, waiting at the foot of the stairs.

You swear this woman is five foot eleven inches of absolute chaos with another five added by a pair of shoes highly inappropriate for her profession. She’s holding a vial and a beaker. You already know you’re screwed. She turns her head turns toward you, staring blankly for a moment, and then looks back at her beaker. The contents of the vial are unceremoniously dumped into the beaker and- GOSH DARN IT, AUNTIE.

A cloud of fog, or smoke, or whatever-the-heck-this-stuff is consumes the area. You can’t see a thing. Great. You’re also too busy trying to orient yourself and not fall down the last of the stairs that you don’t notice something fly at you, knocking you off balance. So much for not falling down the stairs.  You take an inelegant tumble down a few stairs before something grabs you and lifts you back to your feet.

Oh great.

You’re trapped in a near death grip, with your breathing mercilessly constricted and one arm pinned helplessly to your side. Thankfully, you do have one arm free. Reaching back to repeatedly poke her in the side makes her let go, and you take this opportunity to scramble away. The victory doesn’t last for very long though.

You are immediately pelted with several small, hard, yellow citrus fruits. You swat at them with your needles, quite thankful you brought along one of the bigger pairs. These fruits are no match for your instruments of yarn crafting. Ha! Stupid lemons.

Auntie looks slightly disappointed, but not defeated. Probably because she still has one last lemon. You don’t even bother swatting at that one. You just dodge, and quickly. You hear the crash of lamp and small boom behind you. Ugh. Even more stupid combustible lemons.

In no time, Auntie is upon you once again. Her glove hands reach for you, but quick jabs of the needles keep them back. There’s an awful lot of jabbing, swatting, and swinging the things before you realize she isn’t going to give up that easily. Well, escape time it is.
You hop down and slide away, making an escape between her legs. It’s no use really. She just spins around on those weird, futuristic looking heels of hers and lunges at you. You dodge once again, but your scarf thwarts your speed. She’s latched onto it and you’re suddenly yanked back. Oh great, now she’s got a leash.

There’s no running away at this point. …You can always run at her though. That’s exactly what you do, tackling her to the ground and absconding the second you get to your feet. You’ve done it! You’re free! The door is ahead! And you’re flat on your face kissing floor. You seriously hate those lemons.

Now that you’ve tripped over the stupid citrus like some sort of IMBECILE, she’s approached. Oh goodness. You get up to flee, but only ended up running face-first into your doom. Your face is squished into in the inescapable realm of asphyxiation.
Why does Auntie always have to give so many cuddles? Why are her hugs so tight? Why is there such a horrible height difference between you two?

Several smacks of your needles ensue, getting weaker and weaker from lack of oxygen. You are finally released and stumble back, disoriented and gasping for breath. Auntie once again dashes away into her hellhole of a laboratory. Who knows how long she’ll be down th- Oh, she’s back. She’s also holding your copies of the game.

What a great guardian, bringing your game to y- She’s going to make you fight her for these, isn’t she?

She is. She’s in her battle stance.

Forget this.

You throw your needles at her hands, knocking the discs from her villainous clutches. Dashing past her, you scoop up both game and needles before making a run for the stairs. Auntie pursues, pulling you into yet another lethal hug. You only escape by flinging her glasses off of her face. You’re finally left to creep back into your room in peace as she blindly searches for her great round sight aids.
You stumble back into your room, locking the door behind you, and finally plop back down into your computer chair. Lovely, lovely, safe, computer chair. Oh, you’ve got more messages.

You decide to answer Finn first. No need in making the sour Scottish samurai even more grumpy by keeping him waiting. Then again, he might have left his computer by that point.

MA: Well, Reedy, I’ve recently retrieved the above-mentioned copies from the above-mentioned Auntie.
MA: And I’m likely lucky to have lived through the ordeal.
MA:  Lots of luck with your dear dad, if you’re off obtaining your own copies still.

He’s likely going to need lots of luck getting anything from his dad.
Next, it was AA. Heh. You just love his chumhandle. apatheticAvarice, avarice apathetic, apathy and avarice…Oh. Right. Answering messages.

MA: You, Sir, seem to be an excellent selection for server and I’d be happy to have you as such.
MA:  As to taking part last, I don’t mind much.
MA: And by “/him/” I supposed you’re speaking of Reedy?
MA:  If so, Mister apathetic Avarice, indeed despite his grump he could be great at something such as this.

Now it was on to Zesty. Heh. Malleable of chums.

MA: So sorry for the slow reply, Zesty!
MA: The fraudulent one…?
MA:  Oh! Reedy!
MA: That’s usual for him when he’s being all testy.
MA: …Which is approximately always. Anyway,
MA: As for the absence of actual information…Well, maybe all the recent players are too caught up in their gameplay to get to crafting constructive counsel?
MA: That’s the most probably possibility I could think of to explain.

You take a spin in your little chair before getting to the last of your messages. Oh, it’s this one again. They seem okay…whoever they are.
Now who the heck is volatileSlacker? It doesn’t sound like anyone you know.

MA: I have to say I haven’t a clue.
MA:  Did he say why he decided to contact you?

You take a sip of your beloved peppermint tea as you settle back into your chair. How anyone could prefer iced tea to the warm caress of peppermint perfection is beyond you. This stuff is the best. You’re almost out though. Maybe you could brew a new cup while you wait for replies.

A loud bang followed by a rumble sounds from downstairs.

Never mind. Your tea can wait.

[Admin (HalcyonWandering)]

You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me.

This is why he hated his modus. Shit like this coming out of it that was totally useless in his situation.

Retrieving a pillow from his modus, Finn pinches the bridge of his nose to do away with the irritation that was growing in his chest. He tossed the nearly useless item aside, now was no time for a nap.

Hearing the familiar ping of Pesterchum, Finn pulled his phone from his pocket checking the mobile client.

Finn quirked a small smile, Reedy. That was better than most names that he'd been given.


FR:Got Me There
FR: I'm Still Fucking Around In My Kitchen.
FR: Yeah
FR: Thanks For The Wish
FR: I'm Going To Fucking Need It.

As he finished responding to Isis, Finn looked up just in time to see the front window shatter in a spectacular rain of crystal. Reacting instinctively, Finn ducked to the side dodging the blade that had been thrown through the pane. The blade found purchase in the fridge not far from Finn's face. The young man looked to the outside where his father stood with his samurai's mask up.

The man gestured for Finn to come forward as he flashed the copies of Sburb in his hand before tucking them away beneath his armor. Finn leapt aside as his father's SELF-IMMOLATING KATANA burst into flames and returned to his guardian's hands. Finn nodded and exited the house retrieving his trusty pen from his strife specibus.

He stood in a formal stance, bowed to his father, then took a traditional battle position before uncapping the sword and taking it to his offhand, leaving his forehand with the cap of the pen. The stance was far from traditional, but he had adapted to it well. His father had approved of the interesting tactic immediately.

His father smiled and closed the mask on his helmet as the blade in his hand shown brightly, taking on the glow of flames. His guardian lunged forward with a powerful horizontal slash. Leaping backwards to avoid the slash, Finn pressed hard into the ground and came up to glance his blade into his father's and attempt to get within his blade's sharp edge. However, the Scot was instead sent sprawling as his father countered with a solid kick.

The samurai followed up with a vertical slash as Finn caught his breath on the ground. The young man rolled to the side with just enough time to lose a bit of fabric from his jacket. Leaping up from the roll, Finn swung with a horizontal slash and was met with the strong opposition of his father's blade. As he pressed for advantage, the heat of his guardian's blade intensified making it difficult for him to fight back against the stronger man's sword.

The young man and his father locked eyes for a moment and Finn smirked. Taking the cap, he placed it swiftly at the top of the blade and ducked low. Suddenly having no opposition, his father's blade sailed harmlessly through the air as Finn rose against the blunt side of the blade with his sword again at full length.

The samurai's blade burnt away as it appeared in his off-hand carefully deflecting away his son's sword to keep him out of his arm's length. The guardian nodded as the boy resumed his original stance and waited carefully bouncing on his toes. The father smiled beneath his mask and nodded. The sword in his hand glowed with a ferocious light as he swung it in a lightning fast arc. Finn reacted fast and leapt away from the first attack as the blade immolated and returned for another swing in his father's opposite hand. The young man was able to block with just enough time to leave a glancing blow along his arm, the tiny cut instantly cauterizing as the young man cringed away dropping the cap of his pen.

Bringing his blade to bear and not ready to back down, Finn lunged at his father again and met his blade time and time again forcing the older man with stronger but slower strokes on the defensive as the young man's faster strikes kept him on his toes. The guardian smiled he was proud of the young man that he raised. He may not exactly know it. But, the older O'Leary was confident that his son was a true samurai. He was ready.

Stepping inside of Finn's swing, the samurai deflected the young man's blade up and away. Then, giving a swift strike to his sternum with the hilt of his blade, he knocked the younger O'Leary to the ground. Winded and not able to move, Finn lay on the ground looking up at the afternoon sun dazed. His father stood over him, lifted his mask, smiled, then placed the discs and the boy's fallen sword on his chest. He ruffled his hair, shut his mask again, then stepped inside through the shattered main window. Immediately, the guardian was on the phone to the window repair service. This was the first time he'd gone as far as shattering the kitchen window to challenge his son to a fatherly spar on the front lawn. This week.

Finn slowly sat up and pocketed the copies of SBURB before his modus could grab a hold of it. His now capped pen on the other hand wasn't quite so lucky.

God Fucking Dammit.

Hopefully, Finn wouldn't need his pen for strifing anytime soon. There was no telling how long it could take to retrieve it. Nonetheless, he attempted to pull it from his modus as he slowly returned to his room nursing his sore ribs.

[Cremator of the Sky]

===> Be Zero Again

Well that was weird, but there was no need to do that. Seriously, if you just wanted a transition all you had to do was announce who it was. Regardless, it was time to get the mail! And so, Zero left the kitchen, and then the mansion to head outside!

===> Zero: Fondly Regard Yard

The front yard of the mansion is an imposing sight really. About three crooked leafless trees with dark black bark and a couple tombstones impaled into the ground. Zero never really bothered reading those stones, and had no interest in them. The only left to note was the fact that the yard was surrounded by a very Gothic Century looking black metal gate. Zero simply walked along the path to the gate in front of her house and then walked over to the MAIL BOX… which was just a plain mail box colored black upon a shaft of MAHOGANY. Also, there was usually a BIG CROW upon it, but not today. Guess the Crow was doing CROW THINGS today.

With that established, Zero opened up the mailbox… AND GOT THE SBURB DELTA DISCS! Now maybe other people would talk to her… well, she’d have to start up a CONVERSATION first. And even then it’d sound like she was bragging… Regardless, Zero went back inside beginning to feel a sense of dread. A sense of familiar dread that could only mean one thing…

“MASTER!” Zero thought hurrying inside.

===> Zero: Back Inside

As Zero reentered the mansion, she could feel it. MASTER was here, he had finally returned after being away for so long! But… where was he? Zero continued walking forwards slowly, her head slowly scanning around trying to look for him. And that’s when everything went south for her as a strand of WHITE CLOTH suddenly shot out from the darkness, wrapped itself around Zero’s neck, and then a manly shout was heard as Zero was flung spinning back first into the second floor balcony! Giving a small pained cry, Zero fell from the back and onto the floor face first, the sound of her body hitting the floor being the only sound before a manly laugh followed it.

“WHAT’S WRONG ZERO? DID I RAISE AN APPRENTICE WORTHY OF MY LEGACY? OR A LITTLE GIRL WHO COULDN’T SHRUG OFF A 10 FOOT DROP?” The voice taunted.

“Ma-Master!” Zero, despite her injury managed to back on to her feet, and surprisingly showed a sign of emotion in her tone, the emotion of affection. However, it was very minimal. She looked towards the source of the voice and found him, her MASTER!

Standing atop the head of MUNDUS, was MASTER! A man estimated to be at LEAST in his 40’s, his body completely covered by his MASSIVE LONG COAT, his head completely shadowed by his FEDORA AND SUNGLASSES COMBO, except for his incredibly ROCKIN’ MOUSTACHE. In his right hand was the same WHITE CLOTH Zero had just been choke thrown with. He then jumped down from the statue’s head… before suddenly giving out a flinching and testosterone induced shout!

https://youtu.be/Tua1KVvFJEU

“ANSWER ME, ZERO! THE SCHOOL AND RULES OF THE EAST’S UNDEFEATED!” He then ran towards Zero!

“THE BODY AND CLOTH OF THE KING!” Zero responded before rushing at MASTER!

“ZANSHIN!” As Zero approached, MASTER began unleashing a flurry of fists upon her.

“KEIRETSU!” As Zero closed the distance, she stopped and met MASTER’s FISTS with a squall of KICKS from her right leg.

“TEMPA KYORAN!” Both teacher and student called out together as they kept up their respective attacks. Then suddenly, they stopped! Zero immediately performed a handstand and unleashed a thrusting kick with her right leg as MASTER unleashed another punch from his right arm, but the two attacks crossed each other and stopped as if they were intended to do just that!

“LOOK TO THE EAST!” They both shouted. “THE EAST BURNS RED WITH VICTORY!”

With that finished, Zero pushed herself off of the ground, placing some more distance between herself and MASTER as she landed upon her feet again.

“Good to see you haven’t gotten sloppy, Zero,” MASTER said. “Truly you are the only person worthy of my legacy.”

“Master! It’s been so long I-” Zero was interrupted as MASTER spoke again.

“Zero, enough of the sentiment. I didn’t teach you, or raise you to feel. I taught you, and took care of you to inherit my teachings. And yet, you’ve turned out better than I had hoped. Not only did you succeed in my teachings, but you’ve become a strong, beautiful young woman in the process. I’m so PROUD of you!”

“Master…” Zero then began looking around for her SBURB DELTA DISCS only for MASTER to chuckle and catch her eye.

“Looking for these Zero?” MASTER spoke as he suddenly held out the SBURB DELTA DISCS in his left hand! “Now Zero, you know the rules. You want something? You have to fight me for it!”

“Very well then…” Zero said before sliding herself forwards. “Let’s go… MASTER!”

===> STRIFE

https://youtu.be/R_YMKrh7jYs

With reckless abandon, the two rushed each other. Zero unleashing a kick, only for MASTER to grab her kicking leg and threw her into the wall behind him resulting in Zero slamming face first against that, before falling back first against the floor. MASTER was quick to capitalize upon his advantage as he unleashed his WHITE CLOTH upon Zero attempting to grab and throw her again. Zero however, saw this coming and drew forth her PRIZED PICCOLO CIRCA 1990 to catch the cloth instead of her body! MASTER himself hadn’t expected such a move from her, and to make things worse, Zero regained her ground and was now trying to wrestle MASTER’s CLOTH from his grasp!

The two stood at a standstill for several minutes, tugging and standing their ground. However, Zero came out victorious and managed to not only rip the WHITE CLOTH from MASTER’s hand, but also lost grip of her PRIZED PICCOLO CIRCA 1990 resulting in it flying through the air wrapped up completely in the cloth and landing on the balcony above! The fight however, was not over. Both combatants still had one weapon, MASTER and his fists and Zero and her legs. Two sunglass wearers looked at each other for several minutes, as if waiting for something to break the silence and announce the fight was on. Well, that sound never came actually and the two simply charged at each other after another minute of waiting.

Zero tried another running kick, but MASTER slid to the side avoiding it. In return, he unleashed a swift and mighty hook towards Zero’s head, but she managed to duck under the punch. And that was the opening she was waiting for. Without any warning, Zero kicked off of the ground and launched herself at MASTER’s head! The next thing he knew, MASTER was being choked as Zero had managed to wrap her legs around his neck, his face was practically smothered against her pelvis, and it was only a matter of seconds before Zero managed to suffocate him!

“You’re getting a little old Master! I think you should stop your vanishings and just let me take care of you!” Zero said applying more pressure upon her thighs. “Now if you’ll be so kind Master, I’d like my-” Zero was interrupted by a guttural growl from MASTER before his fists flew up and proceeded to sandwich themselves against Zero’s head. She gasped from the pain and stopped, her body falling back and her leg’s letting go, but this was only the set-up to MASTER’s counterattack. MASTER then went on to grab Zero by the legs, he spun her around several times before finally throwing her face first into the FINE CHISELED CHEST OF MUNDUS! After that, Zero slid off of MUNDUS and hit the ground lying motionless for several minutes.

MASTER sighed and crossed his arms. “Guess I still can’t go all out on you, Zero. Oh well, I’ll at least carry you up to your room and put you in bed.” With that, he walked over to the downed woman, only for his right leg to be grabbed by Zero! She looked up in defiance at MASTER, her sunglasses shattered before she pushed her lower body into the air with a kick flying straight into MASTER’s face! It connected before he could react and went on to shatter his sunglasses instantly and probably do a number on his face!

“Ha…Ha, ha, ha…” MASTER began before he began clapping and laughing. “GOOD ONE ZERO! YOU HAD ME FOOLED COMPLETELY! Here, take it, you’ve earned it,” with that, MASTER tossed Zero the SBURB DELTA DISCS that she grabbed and immediately placed in her SYLLADEX! And with that, MASTER gave a mighty jump as he kept laugh and clapping before vanishing into the dark.

“Master…” Zero said before lowering her head and practically forcing herself back to her room. Her body was practically SCREAMING in agony after that fight, but it was worth it. It was all so worth it. But for now, she had to get back to her room, and so some resting first.

===> Zero: Get some rest

After climbing a flight of stairs, Zero finally entered her room. She was too beat to check on her computer right now. All Zero wanted to do was lay down for several minutes to ease herself. And so that’s what she did. She walked over to her bed and laid down back first upon it. And then it dawned upon her she would need new sunglasses. Oh well, those could wait.

[Malakili007]

==> Lucia: Await response.

As you wait for either of the chums to respond you absentmindedly twirl a finger in the violet stripe of your hair. When you hear the ping of pester chum you lean over your keyboard in giddy anticipation. After reading the response from AA. You gleefully begin typing again

LF: (O( hehe his Indubitab(e Obtuseness indeed....and (ike of (ourse I need to (onsider who wi(( assist me and the (ucky sou( I sha(( assist. '(ourse first I wi(( need to (o((e(t the game dis(s for myse(f. (iao for now.


==> Lucia: Leave room.

As you leave your room, you can hear the front door of your house slowly sliding shut. Great you think to yourself, she must be getting home from yet another one. You quickly press yourself flat against the wall and slide yourself along it trying to avoid your sister. You don't particularly avoid her normally, but when she's coming from one of these meetings she always tries to--- Your thoughts are halted as the wall behind you slides open sending you falling flat on your back. CRAP! You forgot this was a Japanese style house with sliding doors again.

Internally cursing yourself for not getting used to that yet, you look up fearing what you'll see. Sure enough standing in the doorway over you is your OLDER SISTER wearing a TRADITIONAL JAPANESE KIMONO. Clearly she has indeed returned from an OMIAI, though she never attended these for herself. She always considered herself a MATCHMAKER of sorts, setting up people with each other. As this thought ran through your head your Sister produced a PINK PIXIE HAIR CLIP and plunged it down toward your hair.

Putting your hands above your head on the ground you shoved yourself forward, narrowly avoiding the clip. As you pulled yourself into a standing position, your sister had already prepared another Accessory. This time a Yellow Bow, she always insisted on trying to accessorize your hair after these things. Pulling out a Tarot Card in each hand from your strife specibus, you threw one at her hands knocking the bow aside. However your sister merely pulled out another colored ribbon in the other hand. As she charged headlong at you with the ribbon you stepped aside, watching her crash through the PAPER WALL. Believing yourself safe you turned toward the coffee table and saw the SBURB DELTA sitting with the rest of the mail.

Heading for the table, you almost didn't notice your sister sneaking up behind you with two hair ties, --oh no, she's not going to style my hair...only I can--- you think to yourself. You toss two more cards at her snapping the hair ties on her hands, as she shakes the attack off you quickly grab the SBURB delta discs and pocket them. Unfortunately the slight distraction gave your sister enough time to recover from your last attempt.

Deciding your only hope lies in a desperation move, you prepare yourself for a full on charge a card in each hand as your sister prepares herself with a hair clip in each. You charge at her, and leap on her placing the cards over her eyes causing her to blindly try to accessorize your hair
flaling her hands about you as you sprung back off her chest. With SBURB retrieved you quickly dart back to your room in order to hide.

Breathing a sigh of relief you look at the mirror to check for any damage done. It wasn't that you hated her attempts to accessorize you. No, in fact you wouldn't mind them at all if it weren't for....OH NO! you think to yourself...as you spot a lone clip in your hair. A Pink bunny....in your GREEN stripe....She never puts them in the right color!!!


==> Lucia: Have a fit about color coordination.

[Aesoth]

Just as you bite down on the apple, an odd tone plays from your sylladex and your TECHBOOK receives some pestering. Retrieving the appropriate card from your sylladex, you quickly read off the description of the object in question: A R34PER-class TECHBOOK owned and operated by Zane Ferras, it's black casing holds various ARTISTIC ENDEAVORS and LITERARY ARTIFACTS. An acute scratch runs across 5 centimeters of the reverse of the device.

As you go to unlock the TECHBOOK, a metallic sheen is witnessed in the reflection, allowing you to dodge out of the way of a SCISSOR-BLADE being swung. Coming out of your YOUTH ROLL, you gaze upon the figure in front of you. Your Uncle grins cockily as he readies his SCISSOR-BLADE and MACHE-SHIELD once more.

Sighing softly, you prepare yourself to face your Uncle in the grand spectacle of ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS once more, equipping your last COCONUT-BOLA from your strife deck. Just as you begin to spin up your weapon, your Uncle takes an aggressive step forward and slashes downward with the blade, forcing you to knock it to one side with as you step back. Using the momentum, he lunges forward with the shield, knocking you back several feet and winding you slightly.

As you skid across the tiles, you decide to try to finish this quickly. A quick dash forward and a swing of your arm bring the bola in hard, ready to strike the blade from his hand. A sudden step back causes your swing to miss and almost throws you to the ground. His counter-strike is barely dodged by a stumble to the right and you regain your balance quickly.

One last assault upon your Uncle starts and ends with the launching of the bola at him at max speed. This gambit will either win the duel or cost you it. As the bola shoots forth, your Uncle brings up the shield and deflects the spinning armament to one side, ultimately proving why PAPER BEATS ROCK. As your COCONUT-BOLA bounces away, it strikes a INFERNO LIZARD AUTOMATON, burning up instantly. The sudden flash of light distracts your Uncle long enough for you to snatch up your TECHBOOK again and abscond back up the staircase, quickly opening Pesterchum as you scurry.

ZF: iF noT a singlE otheR playeR haS decideD tO sharE theiR accumulateD knowledgE, i shalL havE tO takE oN thiS noblE endeavoR myselF.
ZF: anD aS foR thE fradulenT onE, anY amounT oF testinesS doeS noT excusE hiS nonsensicaL namE callinG.

A flashing from outside of Pesterchum draws your attention to a file that had somehow found itself onto your TECHBOOK. You slow your ascent up the stairs as you run some standard checks and proceed to access the file.

[whimsicalMuffinman]

That was a little troubling to hear, if MA didn't have it either, it was pretty safe to assume that no one did.

IA: I have no idea who he is either. He just contacted me, saying that I was on a list of names that he was given, so I have no idea. He didn't mention having anyone else's handles, but I'm kind of guessing I'm not the only one.
IA: I hate to ask, but if he or someone else who isn't on the list contacts you, will you let me know what happens?
IA: I'm going to assume it's something to do with the game. Speaking of which, I should go and check to see if that's here.
IA: Feel free to let whoever you think needs to know... know about VS. You never know.
IA: I doubt they'd want to believe me if I came out of the blue and just gave them the news. You can tell them to come to me though...
IA: I'm just a little... well... awkward when it comes contacting people, but I'll try to open myself up a bit.
IA: Oh, and sorry for the late introduction, but my name is Kitt, if you care to call my by it. It's up to you.

Kitt pushed herself up from her desk, turning, this time determined to go and get her copy of Sburb. She tip-toed her way cross the room to the hallway that lead out to the front door, she had to be quiet, lest she make Rei suspicious.

She pressed her back against the opposite wall to her room door, the humming and whirring of machines grew louder as she sidled her way past the door. She swallowed hard, hoping that the sounds were loud enough to drown out the sounds that she was making. Just a few more steps and...! Yes! She was to the door!

She celebrated a silent victory and tried to turn the knob... it was locked. What, why was it locked? It was never locked. She tried again fruitlessly to turn the knob. There was a faint creaking from behind her and she froze, then turning to look over her shoulder. And there she was, her long black hair hanging around her form like a curtain, cherry-red lips upturned in a smile. Oh god, Rei was here, and Kitt was cornered without a weapon assigned to her strife specibus.

Kitt smiled charmingly at her guardian, her eyes darting to the space between Rei and the wall, looking for an escape route. Maybe she could just make it if...Kitt made a mad dash for that gap, which quickly closed as Rei's knee caught her by the small of her back and pressed her against the wall. Kitt gruned in pain, glaring up at her "sister", then squirming as much as she could. This was a mistake, a big mistake from her dumb big dumb scottish head. She stretched forward and managed to get a grasp on the door frame, giving herself just enough leverage to pull herself free from the pressure of Rei's leg.

She knew that Rei was just toying with her, she was going to give her a chance to get a weapon, and hell yes she was going to. Kitt scrambled across the room, without managing to get her footing, and she had just reached her desk when Rei had caught up to her at a casual walking pace. Kitt got her hands on an object on the desk, yanking it down and just managing to allocate it to her strife specibus when Rei scooped her up by the shoulders and sent her tumbling clumsily backwards. She pulled out her weapon which was...

Scissors. Fucking scissors. Pink. Fucking. Saftey scissors.

Welp, it was too late for her to grab something else, now was time to fight. She looked up at Rei and released a battle cry, charging and weilding her... saftey scissors.

She got within range and swung at Rei, opening and closing the scissors wildly. Rei held her back with a palm open on her forhead, swatting the scissors away with the back of her hand-- not even phased. She moved her hand away from Kitt's head and then hit her right between the eyes... with a horribly wet sounding kiss.

Kitt groaned in protest as Rei smoothed her hair and patted her head.

Rei had won this one. This time. Her guardian placed her copies of Sburb in her hands and smiled at her, and Kitt muttered a grudging "thank you". How embarrassing, she probably just graduated from weenie to mega weenie.

Rei skipped her way back to her room and Kitt retrieved her saftey scissors and walked back over to her desk. She sulked and tried to wipe the red lipstick from her forehead. It seemed that VS had begun pestering her again.

VS: Are you iiignoriiing me? Iii suppose that's faiiir, siiince Iii'm talkiiing to you to iiignore the one botheriiing me.
VS: Iii suppose iiit would beniiifiiit me to giiive you a name. To make you more friiiendly? Who knows.
VS: My name iiis Kiiieloe.
VS: Err. Kieloe.
IA: Well then. I'm Kitt, I suppose.
IA: You'll have to forgive me for that, I was having a small spat with a certain guardian of mine...
VS: ...?
VS: You mean your... Lusus?
VS: Well Iii hope that went well...

Kitt crinkled her nose at the word lusus, assuming it was a misspelling or a... another language? She didn't even know, nor did she really care.

IA: No... I almost died.

Meanwhile, Kieloe quirked an eyebrow, what a queer bird. He felt something wet seeping through the leg of his pants, and glancing down he saw his own lusus, the mastif peered up at him with, slobber leaking from her lips and onto his leg from her position on his leg. It was apparently a comfortable pillow, though she didn't seem to mind the floor when he shooed her. This was pretty much how their strifes went most of the time, neither of them had any real energry to get into fisticuffs, they were a sleepy bunch and that suited him just fine.

His computer made sparatic and rapid dinging sounds, ugh, ST again.

ST: Kieloe, mhy haven't you resbonded?
ST: Kie, mhat are you doing.
ST: Kie...?
ST: KIE
ST: KIIIIE
ST: KIIIIIIIIE
ST: BAY ATTENTION TO ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU ASSHOLE.
VS: STOP.
VS: Iii've been botheriiing one of the others on thiiis liiist.
VS: Iiit's iiinterestiiing, they had no iiidea Iii had theiiir handle.
VS: More iiinterestiiing than talkiiing to you at least.
ST: I didn't think you maaaanted to talk to anyone?
VS: Shut your mouth.
VS: Or better yet, you do iiit and leave me the hell alone.

The girl pulled back from her screen, pondering the thought, her tongue snaking out of her mouth and toying with one of her lip rings, moving it from side to side. She blew away a piece of blue tinted hair, smirking. That seemed like a wonderful idea, she could use someone new to talk to other than these bores.

She kicked her foot back and fourth, then uncrossing her legs and pulling herself closer to the screen, glancing at her list in the blue light cast from her computer screen.

She was a much more playful type than Kieloe, so it only seemed appropriate to pick the most fun sounding one to her... aha!

ScorbianTheatric [ST] began trolling apatheticAvarice [AA]

ST: From mhat I've heard, you brobably don't knom me.
ST: So allom me to introduce myself.
ST: The name is ReCuse, it'd do you well to remember the sbelling of that.
ST: I guess you could say I'm rather beculiar about it.
ST: So... tell me a little about you, I've got time to listen for as long as you'd like to talk.

ReCuse leaned forward, propping herself up on her hands, all there was to do now was to wait.

(Whoops that was a text wall. Well then.)

[Zeldaman2.0]

@Finn:
LEVEL UP.
Speed +1
Strength +3
Endurance +2
Douche Points +0
Indeterminate stat for Halcyon to determine
Man grit <HP for men> +10
Level attained: 1/16
Title: Who's This Douchebag?
Boondollars: +120 Boondollars

@Isis:

LEVEL UP.
Speed +2
Strength +1
Explosives +4
Endurance +1
Fem lact <HP for women> +6
Level attained: 1/16
Title: Can I Kill It Mommy?
Boondollars: +120 Boondollars

@Zero:

LEVEL UP.
Speed +2
Strength +3
Endurance +5
Guile: +2
Fem Lact <HP for women> +7
Level attained: 3/16
Title: Junior Rumpbuster
Boondollars: +789 Boondollars

@Lucia:

LEVEL UP.
Speed +2
Strength +1
Endurance +3
New OCD compulsion: Rainbow order of colors
Fem Lact <HP for women> +7
Level attained: 1/16
Title: Picky Princess
Boondollars: +120 Boondollars

@Zahalephotep:

LEVEL UP.
Speed +1
Strength +3
Endurance +2
Luck Capacity: +11
Genre Savviness: +2
Man grit <HP for men> +5
Level attained: 1/16
Title: Fruit Loop
Boondollars: +120 Boondollars

@Kitt:

LEVEL UP.
Speed +2
Strength +1
Endurance +2
Indeterminate stat for Whimsy to determine
Fem Lact <HP for women> +4
Level attained: 1/16
Title: Petite Palooka
Boondollars: +120 Boondollars

[Zeldaman2.0]

Throwing in his disc, Kain turns his attention back to Pesterchum once more. He decides to respond to miss MA first.

AA: You flatter my$elf, and of whi¢h I am mo$t appre¢iative.
AA: ...Ye$. I do mean 'him'.

AA: While he i$ utterly in$ufferable toward$ me, I $uppo$e I mu$t re$tart my "¢a$e-by-¢a$e" $y$tem.
AA: Whi¢h, while it goe$ entirely again$t prin¢iple, I $uppo$e i$ ne¢e$$ary.

Quickly checking the progress of installation, he noted that the base files were only halfway completed when another pinging hit his ears. Figuring it for ZF, he opens it, only to find someone new bugging him. Intrigued, and going by his natural course of action, he decides to let things play out first.

AA: Greeting$, Mi$tre$$ or $ir Re¢use.
AA: I am apatheti¢Avari¢e, and will not pre$ently indulge my first name on prin¢iple.
AA: However, I /am/ delighted that you are willing to li$ten to me.
AA: I live in the Midwe$t in a little $ubur$ with my un¢le.
AA: I'm 17, male, and I do enjoy gaming, writing, and intere$ting mu$i¢.
AA: I'm ¢urrently loading up a game called $burb and will be playing with $ome friend$.
AA: Your$elf?

An odd noise coming from his computer alerting him, Kain quickly tabs over to the game to watch the introduction screen.

http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002037

Watching the screen, Kain smiled to himself, and once it finished, he clicked on a name he didn't usually click on.

apatheticAvarice [AA] began pestering fraudulentRedeemer [FR]
AA: Oi.
AA: I need your help with thi$ game.

[Kittium]

You did it again. You got distracted. And now you have a screen full of messages to reply to. Gosh darn it. Setting aside your book of Edgar Allen Poe poetry, you place your fingers to the keyboard and hurry on to replying. Let's start with the Scottish samurai.

MA: I’ll be anxiously anticipating your relatively safe return, Reedy.

Poor boy is probably getting his butt kicked at the moment. That seemed to happen a lot with his dad.
Next it’s onto AA. There will be no getting distracted by the potential of possible plays on words this time.

MA: I only tell the truth, amazing AA~
MA: All that aside and anyway,
MA: I’m sure things will go suitably with the snappishly sour samurai.
MA: He may be a bit grumpy, but perhaps with a common goal in mind,
MA: You can come up with something to work wonders.
MA: Or something of that sort.

Darn it all. Your peculiar speech habits have a tendency to make you sound like an imbecile sometimes. You probably should have stopped talking four lines ago. Oh well. On to IA.

MA: That sounds severely strange and quite creepy…
MA:  But rest assured, I’ll be sure to tell if any talks from strangers pop up on Pesterchum.
MA:  And behindhand is better than never, when it comes to introductions~!
MA: It’s enchanting to encounter you, Miss Kitt.
MA: As for VS and the unexpected introduction, I’ll ask AA and ZF about it.

Heh. Kitt…Kitty…Kitty-cat…Itty bitty pretty kitty ca- Okay, that’s enough. Reassuring yourself that you are not a complete and utter moron, you actually get to messaging the boys like you said you would.

MA: Hey?
MA: AA?
MA: You don’t happen to have knowledge of one wandering the internet under the username volatileSlacker, do you?

And now onto Zesty. You needed to respond to him anyway.

MA: I’m sure you’re entirely suited for the endeavor.
MA: Mysterious missing information aside,
MA: Might you have made the acquaintance of someone with a moniker of volatileSlacker?
MA: Or any other suddenly appearing stranger for that matter?

With messages responded to and Kitt’s request filled, you’re free to resume your reading. Well, almost. Something just occurred to you. You should probably warn Reedy about AA contacting him and all, maybe even suggest they act civil towards each other.


MA: Oh, one other thing, Reedy.
MA: AA has something to talk to you about.
MA: So if you two could have a courteous conversation,
MA: That be delightful, without a doubt.

[Admin (HalcyonWandering)]

Success.

Thank goodness, Finn's blade returned to him and he safely stowed it away in his strife specibus so that it couldn't be lost again. Hearing the ping of Pesterchum assaulting his phone, Finn pulled the device from his pocket and began to look at the messages. Wanting to avoid interaction with other people as much as possible, he messaged Isis first.

FR: I Got My Fucking Discs.
FR: I Had To Wade Through The Fire And The Flames For The Goddamned Things.
FR: So
FR: You Can't Say That I Never Did Anything Fucking Heroic For You.
FR: I Fought A Goddamned Samurai.
FR: With A Fire Sword.
FR: Of Course
FR: That's Daily Shit For Me.
FR: But
MA: Oh, one other thing, Reedy.
MA: AA has something to talk to you about.
MA: So if you two could have a courteous conversation,
MA: That be delightful, without a doubt.
FR: I Digress.
FR: I'm Installing The Game Now.
FR: It Shouldn't Take Me Too Long.
FR: Fuck
FR: You Cut Me Off Again.
FR: Yeah
FR: I'll Play Nice If He Cuts The Shit
FR: I Don't Think He Realizes
FR: That Shouting "Oi!"
FR: Is Not The Way I Envision A Conversation Starting.
FR: Unless
FR: It Involves My Dad.
FR: But
FR: Since You Asked
FR: I'll Try.
FR: But
FR: No Promises.

Opening his second Pesterchum window on his phone, Finn replied to Kain as quickly and as painlessly as he could. He compared the experience to getting a shot. Something that he absolutely loathed given his adversion to needles in general, the objects made him cringe on sight.

FR: What?
FR: Just Because Fucking Sburb Got Launched
FR: Doesn't Mean I Took The Whole Fucking Day Just To Get Ready.
FR: So
FR: Slow Your Fucking Roll And Ask Nicely.
FR: Then
FR: I Might Play Along.

Thinking about Sburb, Finn slipped the copies out of thier case and was slightly surprised to find a small slip of paper. It contained Pesterchum handles that he was familiar with. malleableAtrocities... That was Isis. apatheticAvarice... Kain. zestyForesight... Zane. logicalFallacy...Tch.

Then, there were two more usernames. One's that he wasn't entirely familiar with. He began installing Sburb on his computer before messaging Isis once again on Pesterchum.

FR: Hey
FR: Do You Know IA or PA?
FR: I Got This List With My Discs...
FR: Fuck It.
FR: I'll Message The Assassin.
FR: See If Dad Took Out A Hit On Me Or Some Shit.

Opening a new tab, Finn attempted to contact professionalAssassin.

fradulentRedeemer [FR] began pestering professionalAssassin [PA]

FR: Hey
FR: Is There A Reason That I Have A Fucking Professional Assassin's Contact Information?

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